阿姆斯特丹

阿姆斯特丹

我想粗谈阿姆斯特丹，因为我刚从那里回来。

Hyson和我从巴黎出发，一起到了阿姆斯特丹。

那是一个美丽，性感的城市。人们在桥头叫卖粉红色羽毛的手铐，鲜花编织的鞭子，鸽子在旁边咕咕求偶，乐此不疲。

Hyson漂亮华丽的朋友们来迎接了。

Hyson稀里哗啦的荷兰语迸射在她们脸上。阳光下的河里，绿头鸭们在围攻海鸥，泛起闪闪的银光。

法式魅力果然很大，即使是法式的荷兰语，法式的荷兰吻。

金发小妞们像一串银铃般，边响边随风扑飞上来。因为这些朋友穿得比较多，以至于与橱窗里的姑娘很不同，不是用顺时针扭和逆时针扭那么简单的词儿就能形容。

“Hello, I am a new bee in Amsterdam.” 我麻木地凑近其中一位的脸。

“Hi! Glad to meet you. I love your French English though.” 耳边有很腻的香水味和伦敦味。

我微惊，“你丫扯淡。” 又低下头，微笑着看着地图。

罪过。如果我的微笑真的是会心一笑，那么就像某些巴黎人和伦敦人，或者北京人和上海人那样自然本能地对视而笑。这种真诚的微笑，比起一个热情的吻，当然是没有文化得多。

我们去喝了美酒，看了可爱的甲虫。



遇见“25块，开发票！”这样的流利的中文，我就说了一句“pauvre con（可怜的蠢货）”。 非常奇妙，这句话和法国总统刚好同时说出，我希望他的话不会被人注意，而我的话会引起很大轰动。

可惜，在现阶段的世界，结果是相反的。

这天早晨，我精神比较低落，睡得很昏沉，据说鼾声很大。

我不能继续作梦，我该离开这里。

我关上了门，衣衫不整地走了出来，从阿姆斯特丹走了出来。

我的耳朵被自己强行人工灌制了准备好的一首歌，« Dans le port d’Amsterdam, y’a des marins qui boivent… »

（在阿姆斯特丹港口，有一群水手在喝酒，他们喝啊喝，喝啊喝…….）

再见，阿姆斯特丹。

Je pense à toi tous les jours

Je pense à toi tous les jours
我每天都在想你 (日记)

Je dirai allô ! C’est moi . Qu’est ce que tu fais? Je ne t’entends pas très bien. Tu es où ? Tu as mangé quoi ? Je pense à toi tous les jours .

（第一天）

今天七点半开始工作，真正投入了进去。在你降落到意大利的土地上时，我在轰鸣的high performance计算机簇上顺利实现了被一致称赞为具有高智能的数据库多项选择功能。后来吃了意大利汉堡来纪念你的出行，用Big Mac填满了胃。

22:45了，你找到住的地方了么？这是个安静的夜晚，我想象着我们在装有玻璃天花板的温室里躺着看月亮。

爸爸说过，十五的月亮十六圆。

其实，今夜巴黎下雨，没有月亮，也没有你。

用微笑祈祷你安全，亲爱的。

当你不在身边，我开始注意到很多突然丢失的细节。我依赖的东西远不止胳膊发麻带来的幸福感。

原来把脸埋进乱七八糟的长发里会睡得那样满足。

原来……

我为我拥有的一切而自豪。

这种与生俱来的自豪感让我很愉悦，我充满了力量。总是同情地望着匆忙赶路，奋斗的人们。

在法国的土地上，我作为一种文化的旁观者，外表比以前平静许多，兴奋度远低于常人。心里很high, 兴奋度远高于大家。

我不十分了解这种文化，也不急着了解，只是怜爱地看着大家。像在中国一样。人们都是可爱的，都是无辜的，都是有异域风情的。世界就是世界，不分文化，不分国度。

活在这样满足的境界里。妈妈说我眼里没活儿，也没有困难。

看了一眼手机，默默说一句我爱你，然后睡觉。

0:05你终于来了电话，三句话：今晚有人来接，去东北人家住；明天不去佛罗伦萨,；只投了几毛钱打电话。0:08又来了电话，你听不见。

我知道你也想我。足够了。很棒的感觉，丝毫不孤单。

要吃好，吻。

(第二天)

今晚在王嵩岚和她男人那里谈话时，你从罗马来了电话。我严肃而故作有磁性地说了两句，接着在MSN上几乎要歇斯底里地钻过去拥吻。

已经一点半了，刚看完看电影，嘴没停。因为买了你爱吃的鸡胗和我爱吃的包子。你说你在意大利吃得很好，吃东北菜。我就纳闷了，你不是不爱吃东北菜么？

（第三天）

我想告诉你，今天又是收获的一天，仅仅付出一点我的小智慧就可以让积压多年的一堆问题迎刃而解，用Isabelle的话讲就是使产业得以进步。我分析综合的能力已经上升到一种程度，这种程度让我有了面对这个世界任何问题的安全感。不过我当钥匙人已经多年，只有欣慰的感觉，并未有年少时的兴奋。

开心地吃饭，叮当响多好。两天以来，同事开始这样吃，并用勺子和sauce在盘子里涂鸦。我则把盘里的肉夹到了面包里大啃。并非行为艺术，而是为了打破多年来人们追求的行为艺术高度。我吃了一口就想起你蒸的馒头。你会喂我，我会咬一大口，越嚼越甜。

又发了工资，想请同学吃饭。今晚，凡尔赛，摩洛哥餐厅。结果没吃成。就自己吃了从美丽城买来的方便面和咸鸭蛋。看完了前几天在FNAC买的一本女艺术家写的书“Je pense à toi tous les jours”。我并不想去仔细了解这个清纯的没有逻辑的法国不惑妇女，所以看得很快。这是个有身价的自由职业者。她说，中午起床后，自己没事干。那么应该开始干点活了。“首先，我要拍摄我的脚。” 她笑着说。

晚上9点多给你打了电话，打到同你一起游南欧的元元的手机上。“喂，元元吗?”

被你那一句‘圆你个头’震慑了。我以为你会像小猫一样依偎上来呢，难道变成意大利风格了？

接着你说要结婚，我说好。不过我纳闷，之前不是已经说好更多的事了吗？我都是用字面意思去理解每一句话的，这样不会犯低级错误。比如一辈子，永远等等就是一些时间词，从现在到死亡的时间， 没有任何感情色彩。我从来不会用这些话去谄媚浪漫的气氛，或者发泄自己丰富的感情。我的感情纯得像夜里塞纳河里泛起的城市的光，只有一种温馨的暖色调，却饱含了历史的责任感。

总之，我这边没有一点问题。我，一个值得依靠，无所不能的好人，纯粹而果敢， 浪漫而自由。你有福了。

刚刚做出了数数游戏的计算机助手，界面用了你的笑脸。代码如下:

Dim intA As Integer, intB As Integer, intidx As Integer, intC As Integer, intX As Integer, intT As Integer, I As Integer

Dim intRes(1 To 99999) As Integer

Dim strTemp As String

If Me.Pas = 0 Or Me.Max = 0

Then

MsgBox "好歹也输两个数啊，小样儿!" Else
intA = Me.Pas

intB = Me.Max

intC = intA + 1
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

For intidx = 1 To intB

If intA <>

Then

intA = intA + intC

intRes(intidx) = intA

Else

intX = intA - intB

End If

Next intidx

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''
intT = intC - 1 - intX

intA = intT

intRes(1) = intT
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

For intidx = 2 To intBIf intA <>

intA = intA + intC

intRes(intidx) = intA

Else

intRes(intidx) = intB

End If

Next intidx

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

If Not intRes(1) = 0 ThenstrTemp = intRes(1)
''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

For intidx = 2 To (intB + intX + 1) / intCstrTemp = strTemp & "," & " " & intRes(intidx)

Next intidx

''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''''

Me.RESULTAT = "Start from Yan! " & strTemp
End If
If intRes(1) = 0

Then

strTemp = intRes(2)

For intidx = 3 To (intB + intX + 1) / intC

strTemp = strTemp & "," & " " & intRes(intidx)

Next intidx
Me.RESULTAT = "Start from Léa! " & strTemp
End If
End If

然后构思了一下你最喜欢的猜飞机游戏的解法，发现自己脑子还是十分卓越，只是很想分配一下工作，因为我的大脑总是对没有技术含量没有创新的事情熄火，为了保持更纯粹的活跃性，也可以说很懒。分配工作？把意思传达的过程就是一个具有遍历性(ergodisme)的更大的工程，并且已经没了创新，所以我在这种事上表现得更懒。也许世界充满了这种遗憾，表现在科技和艺术的不发达上。人们已经在历史长河上浪费了太多时间，仅仅因为这种生物体的独立性使大脑不相通。

现在快早上五点了。明天中午起床，下午被推荐去教堂听修女唱歌。很多在中国先富起来的人可能认为，被天主教修女的歌声感动应该比被中国民工的笑脸感动浪漫一些。


(第四天)

下午和Emma路过Porte Maillot，对她说这就是Léa前几天坐机场巴士出发的地方。她说看来我是真的很想你。当我说起她的帽沿刚好到眉毛，从远处看像Léa平直的刘海，她认为我已经走火入魔了。

你在梵蒂冈那片宗教的土地上是否充满迷惑？抑或更加明朗？

呵呵，土人。也许一首无病呻吟的歌曲对你指点会更大。

这让我觉得很荒诞。一些所谓的名人常常有意无意对人们造成精神思想上潜移默化的影响，比如李洪志，李亚鹏，李清照，李安，李大钊，李小龙等等。然而真理不是经验，所以我们应该用自己的眼睛去看，用自己的人生去感受。所有的共鸣也是没有实际指导意义，毫无价值的。

共鸣常常会带来惨痛后果。曾经有科学家说量子力学是现代物理最接近易经的学科，后来他自杀了。在我现在看来，不应用量子物理带来的损失，比不应用西方经济学仍然要大得多。两者不是接近，而是都用了同样的明晰手段去解释模糊混乱的问题，使世界和人生变得有规律可循。为自己乃至人类更好地繁衍生息做出贡献。

我发散的思维被夜色投映在新凯旋门上，科幻的灯光将被忧郁的游客冲洗在照片上，之后被冲绳岛渔村里的孩子互相传看，不慎把照片落入后院的一口深井。终有一天夜晚……

突然想起，你的刘海是倾斜的。这也挺好，呵呵， 土人。


(第五天)

你的电话把我吵醒，已经下午两点半。你到了雅典。我眼前立刻浮现出起雅典娜，圣斗士星矢……

-吃了吗？
-还没。
-快去吃吧。
-嗯哪。
-我继续睡了。
-好。

我就这么昏睡过去，希望睡梦中有天马流星拳，我幸福的童年。
不，还是把梦境全部用你的笑脸占满，这样会更幸福。

(第六天)
还剩四天。

Letter to my tutors in China Netcom

Dear Mis Jiang and Mis Huang,

I have been in France for more than a year by now. And during one year I have engaged myself to the endless classes at school, to be a good student.

Forgive me for this late hello that I now bring you. Being a student in France who is suffering from extremely advanced mathematics and automatics studies, I feel almost separated from the telecom industry. This is the reason why I hesitate to write a letter to you to discuss with you, as well as any other experts in our industry.

However, my strong feeling of identity as a telecom person has never diminished. That’s why I always think of you, my dear teachers, and the wonderful time we spent together in China Netcom.

To tell the truth, it was in China Netcom that I began to focus my real career interest to the industry. It is the telecom industry. And working in a telecom operator gave me the broadest vision to look at this industry, even to manipulate it!

The meetings and conferences that I participated in were, in particular, a fruitful experience. This is the best part of my internship in China Netcom because I am a conference person and I did speak a lot for China Netcom during the conferences in “Friendship Hotel” (especially with Doctor ZHANG Zhen). :-)

To tell more truth, I did not completely focus myself in the work in China Netcom because I was busy preparing for my application for France. That is why you could notice I had so many days if absence for doing many affaires out of work. For this, I now sincerely apologize to you, hoping you can understand me.

I always ask ZHANG Xi about the current situation of you two teachers and I heard that he is becoming such a busy expert. I am so proud of him. I think you are also willing to be informed about my studies and life a little bit. What’s more, I promised you, Mis. Huang, to tell you more about France to prepare a better future for your son!

I am now studying in a top engineering school. There are two types of engineering school in France. The one that is specialized in a certain industry, and the one that is training very well-rounded people, which means you have to learn everything in the engineering world. The second type is better than the first type in France and students are trained to be the future directors and managers. My school is the second type. So I have to learn automatics, information system, telecom, energy…

Because my school is one of the best engineering schools, every subject here is much more difficult than other schools and every subject is more deeply studied even than the schools which are specialized in one domain.

Every student in my school is very well-educated and they study very hard (much more hard-working than BUPT students).

Life here is busy and peaceful. I have no time to travel around but I can always enjoy the beautiful sunshine at the place where I live. We can learn a lot in such a quiet environment.

Now I am working in the second largest mobile operator in France called “SFR”, which is the member of “Vodafone” in France. It owns the largest 3G network and the biggest number of subscribers in France. This is an internship during one year (from this month to August 2008). And after this internship I still have half a year’s study at school.

Everyday I discuss with all the manufacturers of mobile phones (Nokia, Huawei, Alcatel, Samsung, ZTE, Sony-Ericsson, LG…) in the conferences to decide the technical characteristics of new mobile phones coming to the market and I develop information solutions for marketing and strategy.

Working in the best CBD in Europe, I can enjoy the beautiful city of Paris by looking out of my window. I feel content of life.

Sometimes I take a walk by the river Seine, while my heart is totally peaceful. This feels great. But I am not a person who can stop fighting and enjoy the tranquil life. I still need some passion to prove that I can change a grand network; I can change billions of people’s life, like in China Netcom.

I really miss you, my dear teachers. My passion for telecom has started again in my new internship in Paris, and never ends.

I wish you all the best. May happiness always accompany with you, your family, and every friend of yours.


Your student ever,

Yan ZHANG



DSP - Marketing/Stratégie Terminaux
SFR

1 Place Carpeaux - Tour Séquoia

92915 Paris La Défense Cedex

http://www.sfr.fr/

Nimes

Nimes is big enough for me. I mean there are lots of arcades, supermarkets and stuff in the uptown. Cars crowd everywhere in this old damp southern city of France.

Further more, there are lots of weirdoes and zombies in these southern regions who have been living during thousands of years since Chinese emperor tackled Turkish harassment for the 248th time. These inhabitants are called Nimois.

When you're in this moldy uptown, it's like this genre of life cannot excite you before it fulfils your exotic curiosity. I get pretty far out, even in the spring sunshine.

Apparently I ain't acquaintanted with the routes. I've got the mark somewhere but I won't tell you where it is because these folks are promenading too slowly and you can stare at their movements so conscientiously to figure out each of their destinations.

These zombies are folks who have just been hit with the fallout, probably from Uzbekistan or pretty much earlier from the ancient times.

Plus some 1000 years' brain damage from Greece and Italy, a lot of the toxins and germ warfare…

Oh boy, my neurotic mentality!

So the plague also, I can smell it but I cannot precise the location because it is fluid thus everywhere. I don't really know what is going erroneous. I just see these French residents I don't comprehend. Maybe it's like they have been genetically malformed or something. It's almost like they've all got some kind of weird disease.

Four euros' business could make them run around and go insane. Plus they don't speak properly they just slur like those Marseilais, but way less fasionable.

Alas! It's bizarre. It's twisted. And these creatures are surreal. I don't know what to call them in a scientific manner, but Nimois are very dangerous. Zombies are just a superstitious term for them. They are not actually whom you know from the culture propoganda. Dead people are walking around but Nimois may as well be exactly sorted in this category.

Anyway they are a threat when you're inside Europe. I mean spiritually, it's like you are going across the wastelands it's nothing but void, or empty dunes with desert, with burned out highways, whatever. And you hear the requiem even when you digest a kebab. Ironically the tourists do have the illusion that the Nimois are happy and everything is peaceful and dynamic. They just can't see the drifting devils because the spring sunshine is too bright; they just can't hear the roaring beasts because it is too noisy in the cafés; they just can't smell the rancide sludge and filth because it is the season of enormous land of lanvender flowers in Provence nearby.

I mean it is not their fault, after all.

And you can tell from the old street lights that you'd be getting close to somewhere different: you'll see this shabby kebab restaurant.

"I'm gonna offer you this plastic bag because you are his wife, hahahahaha!" the man laughed licentiously to my girl.

Wow man! This is hilarious: Now you are talking! His exotic logic makes me excited.

I am caught, I'd say, for the first time in Nimes. But this is a Turkish man, not a French, nor a Nimois. As a far-easterner, should I be proud or sorry before you? Gee, this person understands nothing about his turpitude nor his innocence. He runs a restaurant and he is a virgin of philosophy. That's all.

This city, I mean, this town is too old to be true.


Anyway I'd been humping for a couple of days in Nimes before I retrieved the reality. I mean I started to embrace the spring sunshine elsewhere.

L'Auberge Espagnole

      

Généralement, l’Auberge Espagnole est un film très sympa. Ce qui me botte, c’est la description de la vie universitaire à l’étranger, qui convient parfaitement à ma propre expérience. Dans ce film, l’expérience d’Xavier a été complètement foutue. Par exemple : il a paumé sa petite amie en France malgré qu’il en ait et qu’il en ait bavé ; en même temps il a dragué une autre nana mariée qui était beaucoup plus âgée que lui. Même si l’histoire est le vrai bordel, l’Auberge Espagnole  peux faire piger ses spectateurs une attitude vachement positive, ça veut dire que les nouveaux européens qui bougent beaucoup aujourd’hui , rencontrent tous les jours les problèmes d’adaptation culturelles, linguistiques, morales, sentimentales, familiales, etc. Pourtant, bien évidemment, le film nous montre que tout le monde va s’accrocher et bien s’éclater dans un nouvel environnement, malgré les difficultés originaires de ses propres moyens et préjuges contre les uns et les autres.   Pour mieux vivre, il va falloir paumer des trucs traditionnels, sans être trop coincé, s’habituer à la mode un peu plus rock ‘n roll,  s’en faire baver, etc. D’après le film, la libération de la pensée et de la mentalité de ces jeunes gens a une tendance de bien permettre l’inexistence de la manière de connerie partout en Europe.