零线程和复快感

2007年11月某夜于巴黎，迷糊中的对话：

- 你想吃冰淇淋吗？
- 不想。
- 我也想吃！

这情景十分有意义。

-----题记


多线程分析和处理问题能力其实是一种人类演化到高级阶段所具备的能力，每个人都有这样的能力，典型见于各种行业中扮演重要领导角色的人们。

然而多线程的使用者本身常常得不到最好的快感。近来有一种风气，在每个国家都有这样的情况（程度不同）：那就是人们争抢着去使自己具备多线程素质，而忽略了根本目的所在。这种忽略就是人们身心疲惫，常常失去方向的一大原因。

我建议：常常把自己从多线程解放出来，回到单线程，直到零线程，就可以最大程度地放松自我，找到最美的快感。

鉴于零线程无法分析问题，下面的分析采用单线程方式：

我一直想举例说明一种十分重要的快感 ，暂命名为“由极度放松和相爱引起的零线程潜意识误解快感”。最简单的例子发生在我身上:

2007年11月某夜于巴黎，迷糊中的对话：

- 你想吃冰淇淋吗？
- 不想。
- 我也想吃！

这情景十分有意义，因为：

这情景（前快感）可以变化多端，我们可以

替换掉要吃的食物
替换掉要做的事情
用矫揉造作的方言或外语
用各种人类最原始的声音

之后（后快感）亦可以变化多端（下面一种或多种的组合），我们可以 :

1．对视而笑
2．单独傻笑
3．拥抱
4．接吻
5．吃冰淇淋
6．吃其他食物
7．其他

这就是我的生命财富，我至高无上的快感，我积极生活的目的。

做一个非常不精确的数学模型以便简单描述：

这种快感可以看作一个复变函数，有实部和虚部，我把它暂且称为“复快感”。这种复快感包括了变化多端的实部（前快感）和变化多端的虚部（后快感）。

复快感的特例很常见，那就是一切由麻醉剂，钱，酒精，名誉，荷尔蒙等所带来的快感。我想要说，这些特例都不是值得推崇的，因为我们完全可以经常享受一种真正由内而发，沁人心脾的甜美，吃冰淇淋的例子就是这样。（从内和从外而发属于另外一个维，不一定是布尔型变量，也不在复平面上，这里暂不作讨论）。


对于人类（或者有单线程和多线程思考问题能力的物种，暂不研究）来说，所有复快感都可以轻松实现，在有限的生命里最大限度地享受我们的生活。

我希望有更多人愿意做没有根本意义上的技术含量并且多线程的工作（在各种较次的复快感的驱使下去压抑较高的复快感的过程），把我这段文字最大程度地信息化。

二十一世纪初所能罗列的手段如下：

科学技术：医学，信息技术
媒体：大众传媒，书，多媒体等
教育：坚持不懈的一种纯化，美化

大学时候曾经去逛北京昌平的某书店，在宗教架子上看到过一本价格不菲的书，包装特别精美。翻开看，共有365页，每一页都是材质特别好的白纸，一个字都没有，一点痕迹都没有。当时我对艺术认识肤浅，虽然印象很深，却久久不能理解这价格为何如此之高。现在可以我枕着爱人给我借来的各种佛学书大胆猜想，这 美丽的“空”便是零线程美感的艺术典范。

专注自己，回到单线程；放松自己，享受零线程。

Letter to my tutors in China Netcom

Dear Mis Jiang and Mis Huang,

I have been in France for more than a year by now. And during one year I have engaged myself to the endless classes at school, to be a good student.

Forgive me for this late hello that I now bring you. Being a student in France who is suffering from extremely advanced mathematics and automatics studies, I feel almost separated from the telecom industry. This is the reason why I hesitate to write a letter to you to discuss with you, as well as any other experts in our industry.

However, my strong feeling of identity as a telecom person has never diminished. That’s why I always think of you, my dear teachers, and the wonderful time we spent together in China Netcom.

To tell the truth, it was in China Netcom that I began to focus my real career interest to the industry. It is the telecom industry. And working in a telecom operator gave me the broadest vision to look at this industry, even to manipulate it!

The meetings and conferences that I participated in were, in particular, a fruitful experience. This is the best part of my internship in China Netcom because I am a conference person and I did speak a lot for China Netcom during the conferences in “Friendship Hotel” (especially with Doctor ZHANG Zhen). :-)

To tell more truth, I did not completely focus myself in the work in China Netcom because I was busy preparing for my application for France. That is why you could notice I had so many days if absence for doing many affaires out of work. For this, I now sincerely apologize to you, hoping you can understand me.

I always ask ZHANG Xi about the current situation of you two teachers and I heard that he is becoming such a busy expert. I am so proud of him. I think you are also willing to be informed about my studies and life a little bit. What’s more, I promised you, Mis. Huang, to tell you more about France to prepare a better future for your son!

I am now studying in a top engineering school. There are two types of engineering school in France. The one that is specialized in a certain industry, and the one that is training very well-rounded people, which means you have to learn everything in the engineering world. The second type is better than the first type in France and students are trained to be the future directors and managers. My school is the second type. So I have to learn automatics, information system, telecom, energy…

Because my school is one of the best engineering schools, every subject here is much more difficult than other schools and every subject is more deeply studied even than the schools which are specialized in one domain.

Every student in my school is very well-educated and they study very hard (much more hard-working than BUPT students).

Life here is busy and peaceful. I have no time to travel around but I can always enjoy the beautiful sunshine at the place where I live. We can learn a lot in such a quiet environment.

Now I am working in the second largest mobile operator in France called “SFR”, which is the member of “Vodafone” in France. It owns the largest 3G network and the biggest number of subscribers in France. This is an internship during one year (from this month to August 2008). And after this internship I still have half a year’s study at school.

Everyday I discuss with all the manufacturers of mobile phones (Nokia, Huawei, Alcatel, Samsung, ZTE, Sony-Ericsson, LG…) in the conferences to decide the technical characteristics of new mobile phones coming to the market and I develop information solutions for marketing and strategy.

Working in the best CBD in Europe, I can enjoy the beautiful city of Paris by looking out of my window. I feel content of life.

Sometimes I take a walk by the river Seine, while my heart is totally peaceful. This feels great. But I am not a person who can stop fighting and enjoy the tranquil life. I still need some passion to prove that I can change a grand network; I can change billions of people’s life, like in China Netcom.

I really miss you, my dear teachers. My passion for telecom has started again in my new internship in Paris, and never ends.

I wish you all the best. May happiness always accompany with you, your family, and every friend of yours.


Your student ever,

Yan ZHANG



DSP - Marketing/Stratégie Terminaux
SFR

1 Place Carpeaux - Tour Séquoia

92915 Paris La Défense Cedex

http://www.sfr.fr/

收拾电脑深处的文件夹时总会被déjà-vu搞得心动， 因为这些久违的文件实在太经典了。 这些温馨的， 深邃的， 动人的， 杀气冲天的déjà-vu总是贯穿于我暗伏杀机的平淡生活中，起到了张晓龙的问候般的效果。 我很满意。

忽略其导致癫痫病的副作用之后，这就是现在和未来的力量之源。 用鲁迅的口吻来讲，这就是现在和未来的力量之源罢 ！

然而在天天叫喊”No more déjà-vu, please!”的Stanley同学那里，情况就大相径庭了。最近他开始质疑自己的一句有些年岁的口头禅：”When we jump out of the circle, we can see the bigger picture. ” 并不留情面地对这句话作出鉴定： 纯属SB。

然而正是一句对今天没有指导意义的废话，惊现在我多年前稚嫩的演讲稿里，并作为déjà-vu的主要来源正在激励着我背上的汗毛。Stanley其实早就在2003年慈祥地提醒过我，这只是一种手段，在危难时刻创造一种机会，可以让别人陶醉于文化的déjà-vu中而自己能够挤入智者群中暂时躲避两秒钟，皆大欢喜。

附上新鲜出土的21世纪初的21世纪杯稿子及音频以纪念刚刚另一种灵感的诞生。

Download: Well-rounded Education
Beijing University of Posts and Telecommunications, April 2004
Zhang Yan

Ladies and gentlemen,
I’m truly honored by the opportunity to stand before you on this special day, a day when I as an engineering student can express my special thoughts to all of you audience from a diversity of backgrounds.
Last October I participated in the Model United Nations Conference hosted by Chinese Foreign Ministry. I still remember vividly the scene when the reporter of Phoenix TV interviewed me after the conference. She asked: “As a student of telecommunications, why do you spend so much time and energy preparing for this political event?” I said: “To give myself an all-round education!” And the next morning, that reply became the headline of Beijing Daily, if not China Daily. It was entitled: “Science and engineering students seeking to be well-rounded.”
Yes, we want to be well-rounded because we are challenged. We engineering students take it for granted that technology is changing incredibly fast. We are thinking nervously and seriously whether our colleges are failing to provide a foundation in the skills currently needed in industry. Take my major telecommunications for example. Scientists say that 21st century is a biomedical time, not an electrical time. So the interdisciplinary exploitation serves as the critical part for our electric and electronics world to find new way of being.
Therefore, throughout the history of our university, researchers, educators, and students have been increasing connections among disciplines. We are proud of our REU program—Research Experiences for Undergraduates, which was established by the student union of our telecommunications school. We members are now doing a Cochlear Implants Project. In order to provide deaf people a hearing, we are trying to produce a bionic ear for these disabled. This artificial device incorporates electrical and electronics engineering, biomedical engineering, psychoacoustics and cognition science together. Through this project, we came to understand each other, we started to appreciate what we did not know, we managed to overcome differences, and we were motivated to travel in unexplored territory seeking new understandings of our world. In a word, we had witnessed the great power of knowledge collaboration. Students from different fields had regained their future opportunities because they know for sure that the interdisciplinary education is always there providing us with a broad stage to reach our full potential.
But the power of knowledge collaboration is not restricted to science and engineering. It is in the full community of learning. Walking around campus I absorbed a reality that there is a seamless web between students from different professional backgrounds. The engineering students are discussing animatedly in a philosophy lecture, speaking passionately in the public speaking club, and looking for sparkling ideas from learning history and arts. How wonderful that is! That, ladies and gentleman, is just a significant step forward to be well-rounded because once we jump out of the circle we can see the bigger picture.
Still in the Model United Nations, on the issue of the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, the agenda passed a motion to urge the UNESCO to spread a new kind of education called Science and Engineering Ethics to universities around the world, which is a 1-year’s course first developed by our REU program last year. From the birth of atomic bomb to the cloning of humans, from the increasingly popular campus suicide to the immergence of new and more harmful computer viruses that are made by our university students. By illustrating and analyzing these cases, the course will strike every scientist and engineer’s heart that we can never be well-rounded talents unless we are engaged in healthy psychology and high moral principle.
Still, after participating in various political and humanitarian activities, it is still my greatest pleasure to find inspiration in the lives of scientists and engineers, as they have insight that can be generalized to any area of life. Let me end my speech with the Nobel Prize winner Li Zhengdao’s words: “The realization of the perfect combination of science and engineering, science and arts, technology and humanity, is the greatest symbol of a university’s success.”

妈妈

昨天很想家，写了几句歌词描述一下我妈去机场送我的情景，配的是《富士山下》的音乐。自己唱了一下，觉得难听。今天让艾宇把它完美演绎出来了，唱得很不错！歌在这里:下载

Mama

Singer: Stanley Yu AI
Lyrics by Yan ZHANG
May 2nd, 2007

Oh mama when I whisper 妈妈 当我低声地
Telling you that I am ready to go 告诉你我就要走了
Your smile is carrying too much painful sorrow 你的微笑含有太多痛和悲
Your sob is rather shallow 你的啜泣声如此轻弱
Tears are still under control 你的泪仍在受控中
You say there's still one sock you forget to sew 你说还有一只袜子忘了给我缝

Oh mama when I'm waving to you from the rising window 妈妈 当我从上升的窗口向你招手
I see your eyes are shining in the shadow 我看见黑影中你的眼睛在闪动
Time is becoming too slow 时间就这样变缓
Distance is longer than rainbow 距离比彩虹还长

It's hard to know 很难知道
When's there again at home 什么时候才能回到家
Noodle to swallow 狼吞虎咽你做的面条

纯粹

如果贝多芬让Jack Johnson去吃屎，你会抓狂吗？一种情况是你不给屎，也不给damn, 另一种情况是你愤怒。最后一种情况：如果你够纯，你一定会因此而兴奋。
----- 题记
(一)
在法国里昂上火车前，一个残疾人非常严肃地指着火车用法国南方口音跟我说：“你要上的火车是要用电的，所以这是电火车！每年都有很多人坐电火车！”
然后，他转向一个个踏上月台的人们，重复着同样的话。
别人都用鄙夷的微笑来回避他的眼睛，陆续上了车。
他回过头来盯着我：“他们以为我喝醉了，其实是他们不懂好的幽默！“
我严肃地说：“ 完全同意。” 登上了火车。
他坐在电动轮椅里向我用力挥手，渐逝在视线模糊的地方……我开始感动。

(二)
确定自己仍然纯粹或者搬着自己的脑袋向某一方面纯粹的最佳办法，就是一个人出去遛弯儿。这时候最应该让牛脑小爷们在家歇歇菜，否则一段天津相声，把浪漫气氛全毁了不说，还不时勾引来一箩筐自以为有修养的傻妞们，幻想着能流着口水就着星光坐在草地上听爷们儿几个吃饱了撑的用吉他伴奏唱英文歌。
北京的冬天，灰暗又阴冷的天，盖着堆满脏雪的地。黄昏时推开窗子，当嗅到一股淡淡的烧焦树叶味道时，那种令人心潮澎湃的力量吸引着我，这是一种大气，不是说不清，而是说清了要好几百年。哈哈，爷这就出去。
去雍和宫旁边的幽深的胡同里找到了那家新疆馆子，漂亮的维族女老板还是一个人在那里织毛衣。吃点串，喝两瓶酒，借啤酒的气打个饱嗝，直奔东直门去看电影。东方银座，老地方。东环影院，前天刚来过，还没出新片，那就再看一遍<<青红>>。这个放映厅只有我和一白种中年男人，丫坐在最前面, 回头望了我N多次。我在想你丫是不是找抽呢，看不懂就别来干瞪眼。
出来后，天已经完全黑下来了。然后去旁边的小商店搞一小瓶二锅头灌两口，搓着手，顺着鬼街走，这一段路颇长，几乎快到二环的时候吃个煎饼果子。说实话这家做的很难吃。为什么屡屡要吃？ 强迫症。
然后就一定要在这个路口打车，而且一定要去颐和园东路。下了车进了北大，往未名湖里扔片枯叶，对淹死在里面的所有除了名人的亡灵匆匆默哀两分半钟。
你们丫也有今天，怎么都隔儿逼着凉了？当时跟爷牛逼哄哄的……
然而我没有骂出来，只是叹着气，祝福着。这个角落黑得可怕。前方那片空旷的草地中央似乎有人在翩翩起舞，那姿态非常撩人，像两年前的夜里那样。我承认我仍有魅力，然而此时此刻正在做的事情不是凭借杀伤力去滥杀无辜，我在蜕去这层外衣，以便在毕业来临之际，作一回纯粹的北邮人。所以还是不去靠近。为了证明我的清白，我从包里掏出了眼镜戴上，绝然与圣罗兰早期设计风格不谋而合。让幻觉停滞在那里，被瑟瑟冷风冻结。
早点回到温暖的家里吧，跳舞的姑娘。别了。
夜很冷，晃到北大正门的天桥上，全是积雪，踩几脚，软得很！天桥那头，是一个瘦弱的影子，能想象她在漠然地俯视着下面来往的车辆。
我突然有冲动，就想冲她喊一句：“你丫不是说要跳下去么？”
呵呵。那不是你，那里谁都没有。这时的我很邪恶，很想回到那个时候把你推倒在地，再抓起一堆雪塞进你的脖子让你清醒过来！然后扬长而去。
可是当时我把你丫抱那么紧，却一点感情都没有动。纯粹是人的本能，一种对生命的保护，就像有时候把垂死的苍蝇用蝇拍轻轻捧起，扔向窗外。我把你最终成功塞进出租车里。
已是半夜了，人就像冰一样。在你被我塞进车的那一刻，我想对这些可爱可憎可怜的人说：“还我体温！”
我回去了，去一个能找到爱尔兰啤酒Guinness的地方----印象中总能把温暖的灯光，光头设计师，黑啤酒和活蹦乱跳，戴着钢牙的小姑娘联系起来。这倒不错。虽然幼稚了点，倒也不失为早期比较纯粹的一种状态。

(三)
又是一个夜晚，在地中海旁的度假村里，我独自踱步在小桥上，像所有童话故事的作者一样，狂妄地幻想把所有纯粹的爱都砸到一个浪漫的二人世界，然后生活就臻于圆满，世界就永远美丽。
每每与前辈们交流起成功的人生到底应该达到什么样的境界，都感到不管是之前还是现在，我太年轻，太天真，太浮躁。有一点是确定的，我依然要在精神世界不断追求纯粹，我要用生命写一本美丽的童话，谁都超越不了这种纯粹，给你。

她离开了法国电信

I have just spent a couple of minutes finishing a letter to help one of my colleagues who is leaving here. She's satisfied with this, to my delight:

 

 

Sir,

I am struggling to make myself less emotional in order to be able to type these words to you, with my fingers trembling, with tears in my eyes. With endless sorry and undying sorrow, I am asking to leave here, France Telecom, a place which has given me so much joy, so many precious moments, and sparkling ideas; a place where so many of my dear friends are encouraging me and motivating me everyday; a place where I came to know what innovation is all about; a place which has taught me how to be a real bright person; most important of all, a place which is just a perfect glorious stage to pour out all my limited personal talents, yet by the rapid realization of my capabilities and with all the stunning achievements and progress that I have made here, all of which seems unlimited.

 

Yes, I know illness is not the overwhelming devil that is going to end my personal career, to drive me away from my professional dream. Yes, I know I need to be psychologically strong and emotionally optimistic about my personal health state. I know this, so I will be smiling to everyone of you, my dear colleagues in France Telecom, I am quitting my current job, not to shelter from life, but to rebuild myself in order to best welcome the future. I love life.

 

I have been hesitating for days to write you this. There were moments when I was gloomy. But now, after thinking so much and after countless sleepless nights, it is not because of pessimism but because of my faith of overcoming the bumpy journey in my life and finally to be a sunshine person again, I come here to write: I now declare my departure.

 

Best wishes,

 

XXXXX