收拾电脑深处的文件夹时总会被déjà-vu搞得心动， 因为这些久违的文件实在太经典了。 这些温馨的， 深邃的， 动人的， 杀气冲天的déjà-vu总是贯穿于我暗伏杀机的平淡生活中，起到了张晓龙的问候般的效果。 我很满意。
忽略其导致癫痫病的副作用之后，这就是现在和未来的力量之源。 用鲁迅的口吻来讲，这就是现在和未来的力量之源罢 ！
然而在天天叫喊”No more déjà-vu, please!”的Stanley同学那里，情况就大相径庭了。最近他开始质疑自己的一句有些年岁的口头禅：”When we jump out of the circle, we can see the bigger picture. ” 并不留情面地对这句话作出鉴定： 纯属SB。
然而正是一句对今天没有指导意义的废话，惊现在我多年前稚嫩的演讲稿里，并作为déjà-vu的主要来源正在激励着我背上的汗毛。Stanley其实早就在2003年慈祥地提醒过我，这只是一种手段，在危难时刻创造一种机会，可以让别人陶醉于文化的déjà-vu中而自己能够挤入智者群中暂时躲避两秒钟，皆大欢喜。
附上新鲜出土的21世纪初的21世纪杯稿子及音频以纪念刚刚另一种灵感的诞生。
Download: Well-rounded Education
Beijing University of Posts and Telecommunications, April 2004
Zhang Yan
Ladies and gentlemen,
I’m truly honored by the opportunity to stand before you on this special day, a day when I as an engineering student can express my special thoughts to all of you audience from a diversity of backgrounds.
Last October I participated in the Model United Nations Conference hosted by Chinese Foreign Ministry. I still remember vividly the scene when the reporter of Phoenix TV interviewed me after the conference. She asked: “As a student of telecommunications, why do you spend so much time and energy preparing for this political event?” I said: “To give myself an all-round education!” And the next morning, that reply became the headline of Beijing Daily, if not China Daily. It was entitled: “Science and engineering students seeking to be well-rounded.”
Yes, we want to be well-rounded because we are challenged. We engineering students take it for granted that technology is changing incredibly fast. We are thinking nervously and seriously whether our colleges are failing to provide a foundation in the skills currently needed in industry. Take my major telecommunications for example. Scientists say that 21st century is a biomedical time, not an electrical time. So the interdisciplinary exploitation serves as the critical part for our electric and electronics world to find new way of being.
Therefore, throughout the history of our university, researchers, educators, and students have been increasing connections among disciplines. We are proud of our REU program—Research Experiences for Undergraduates, which was established by the student union of our telecommunications school. We members are now doing a Cochlear Implants Project. In order to provide deaf people a hearing, we are trying to produce a bionic ear for these disabled. This artificial device incorporates electrical and electronics engineering, biomedical engineering, psychoacoustics and cognition science together. Through this project, we came to understand each other, we started to appreciate what we did not know, we managed to overcome differences, and we were motivated to travel in unexplored territory seeking new understandings of our world. In a word, we had witnessed the great power of knowledge collaboration. Students from different fields had regained their future opportunities because they know for sure that the interdisciplinary education is always there providing us with a broad stage to reach our full potential.
But the power of knowledge collaboration is not restricted to science and engineering. It is in the full community of learning. Walking around campus I absorbed a reality that there is a seamless web between students from different professional backgrounds. The engineering students are discussing animatedly in a philosophy lecture, speaking passionately in the public speaking club, and looking for sparkling ideas from learning history and arts. How wonderful that is! That, ladies and gentleman, is just a significant step forward to be well-rounded because once we jump out of the circle we can see the bigger picture.
Still in the Model United Nations, on the issue of the proliferation of weapons of mass destruction, the agenda passed a motion to urge the UNESCO to spread a new kind of education called Science and Engineering Ethics to universities around the world, which is a 1-year’s course first developed by our REU program last year. From the birth of atomic bomb to the cloning of humans, from the increasingly popular campus suicide to the immergence of new and more harmful computer viruses that are made by our university students. By illustrating and analyzing these cases, the course will strike every scientist and engineer’s heart that we can never be well-rounded talents unless we are engaged in healthy psychology and high moral principle.
Still, after participating in various political and humanitarian activities, it is still my greatest pleasure to find inspiration in the lives of scientists and engineers, as they have insight that can be generalized to any area of life. Let me end my speech with the Nobel Prize winner Li Zhengdao’s words: “The realization of the perfect combination of science and engineering, science and arts, technology and humanity, is the greatest symbol of a university’s success.”
2007年5月28日星期一
2007年5月3日星期四
妈妈
Mama
Singer: Stanley Yu AI
Lyrics by Yan ZHANG
May 2nd, 2007
Oh mama when I whisper 妈妈 当我低声地
Telling you that I am ready to go 告诉你我就要走了
Your smile is carrying too much painful sorrow 你的微笑含有太多痛和悲
Your sob is rather shallow 你的啜泣声如此轻弱
Tears are still under control 你的泪仍在受控中
You say there's still one sock you forget to sew 你说还有一只袜子忘了给我缝
I see your eyes are shining in the shadow 我看见黑影中你的眼睛在闪动
Time is becoming too slow 时间就这样变缓
Distance is longer than rainbow 距离比彩虹还长
When's there again at home 什么时候才能回到家
Noodle to swallow 狼吞虎咽你做的面条
2007年4月22日星期日
Nimes
Further more, there are lots of weirdoes and zombies in these southern regions who have been living during thousands of years since Chinese emperor tackled Turkish harassment for the 248th time. These inhabitants are called Nimois.When you're in this moldy uptown, it's like this genre of life cannot excite you before it fulfils your exotic curiosity. I get pretty far out, even in the spring sunshine.
Apparently I ain't acquaintanted with the routes. I've got the mark somewhere but I won't tell you where it is because these folks are promenading too slowly and you can stare at their movements so conscientiously to figure out each of their destinations.
These zombies are folks who have just been hit with the fallout, probably from Uzbekistan or pretty much earlier from the ancient times.
Plus some 1000 years' brain damage from Greece and Italy, a lot of the toxins and germ warfare…
Oh boy, my neurotic mentality!
So the plague also, I can smell it but I cannot precise the location because it is fluid thus everywhere. I don't really know what is going erroneous. I just see these French residents I don't comprehend. Maybe it's like they have been genetically malformed or something. It's almost like they've all got some kind of weird disease.
Four euros' business could make them run around and go insane. Plus they don't speak properly they just slur like those Marseilais, but way less fasionable.
Alas! It's bizarre. It's twisted. And these creatures are surreal. I don't know what to call them in a scientific manner, but Nimois are very dangerous. Zombies are just a superstitious term for them. They are not actually whom you know from the culture propoganda. Dead people are walking around but Nimois may as well be exactly sorted in this category.
Anyway they are a threat when you're inside Europe. I mean spiritually, it's like you are going across the wastelands it's nothing but void, or empty dunes with desert, with burned out highways, whatever. And you hear the requiem even when you digest a kebab. Ironically the tourists do have the illusion that the Nimois are happy and everything is peaceful and dynamic. They just can't see the drifting devils because the spring sunshine is too bright; they just can't hear the roaring beasts because it is too noisy in the cafés; they just can't smell the rancide sludge and filth because it is the season of enormous land of lanvender flowers in Provence nearby.
I mean it is not their fault, after all.
And you can tell from the old street lights that you'd be getting close to somewhere different: you'll see this shabby kebab restaurant.
"I'm gonna offer you this plastic bag because you are his wife, hahahahaha!" the man laughed licentiously to my girl.
Wow man! This is hilarious: Now you are talking! His exotic logic makes me excited.
I am caught, I'd say, for the first time in Nimes. But this is a Turkish man, not a French, nor a Nimois. As a far-easterner, should I be proud or sorry before you? Gee, this person understands nothing about his turpitude nor his innocence. He runs a restaurant and he is a virgin of philosophy. That's all.
This city, I mean, this town is too old to be true.
Anyway I'd been humping for a couple of days in Nimes before I retrieved the reality. I mean I started to embrace the spring sunshine elsewhere.
2007年4月17日星期二
纯粹
如果贝多芬让Jack Johnson去吃屎，你会抓狂吗？一种情况是你不给屎，也不给damn, 另一种情况是你愤怒。最后一种情况：如果你够纯，你一定会因此而兴奋。
----- 题记
(一)
在法国里昂上火车前，一个残疾人非常严肃地指着火车用法国南方口音跟我说：“你要上的火车是要用电的，所以这是电火车！每年都有很多人坐电火车！”
然后，他转向一个个踏上月台的人们，重复着同样的话。
别人都用鄙夷的微笑来回避他的眼睛，陆续上了车。
他回过头来盯着我：“他们以为我喝醉了，其实是他们不懂好的幽默！“
我严肃地说：“ 完全同意。” 登上了火车。
他坐在电动轮椅里向我用力挥手，渐逝在视线模糊的地方……我开始感动。
(二)
确定自己仍然纯粹或者搬着自己的脑袋向某一方面纯粹的最佳办法，就是一个人出去遛弯儿。这时候最应该让牛脑小爷们在家歇歇菜，否则一段天津相声，把浪漫气氛全毁了不说，还不时勾引来一箩筐自以为有修养的傻妞们，幻想着能流着口水就着星光坐在草地上听爷们儿几个吃饱了撑的用吉他伴奏唱英文歌。
北京的冬天，灰暗又阴冷的天，盖着堆满脏雪的地。黄昏时推开窗子，当嗅到一股淡淡的烧焦树叶味道时，那种令人心潮澎湃的力量吸引着我，这是一种大气，不是说不清，而是说清了要好几百年。哈哈，爷这就出去。
去雍和宫旁边的幽深的胡同里找到了那家新疆馆子，漂亮的维族女老板还是一个人在那里织毛衣。吃点串，喝两瓶酒，借啤酒的气打个饱嗝，直奔东直门去看电影。东方银座，老地方。东环影院，前天刚来过，还没出新片，那就再看一遍<<青红>>。这个放映厅只有我和一白种中年男人，丫坐在最前面, 回头望了我N多次。我在想你丫是不是找抽呢，看不懂就别来干瞪眼。
出来后，天已经完全黑下来了。然后去旁边的小商店搞一小瓶二锅头灌两口，搓着手，顺着鬼街走，这一段路颇长，几乎快到二环的时候吃个煎饼果子。说实话这家做的很难吃。为什么屡屡要吃？ 强迫症。
然后就一定要在这个路口打车，而且一定要去颐和园东路。下了车进了北大，往未名湖里扔片枯叶，对淹死在里面的所有除了名人的亡灵匆匆默哀两分半钟。
你们丫也有今天，怎么都隔儿逼着凉了？当时跟爷牛逼哄哄的……
然而我没有骂出来，只是叹着气，祝福着。这个角落黑得可怕。前方那片空旷的草地中央似乎有人在翩翩起舞，那姿态非常撩人，像两年前的夜里那样。我承认我仍有魅力，然而此时此刻正在做的事情不是凭借杀伤力去滥杀无辜，我在蜕去这层外衣，以便在毕业来临之际，作一回纯粹的北邮人。所以还是不去靠近。为了证明我的清白，我从包里掏出了眼镜戴上，绝然与圣罗兰早期设计风格不谋而合。让幻觉停滞在那里，被瑟瑟冷风冻结。
早点回到温暖的家里吧，跳舞的姑娘。别了。
夜很冷，晃到北大正门的天桥上，全是积雪，踩几脚，软得很！天桥那头，是一个瘦弱的影子，能想象她在漠然地俯视着下面来往的车辆。
我突然有冲动，就想冲她喊一句：“你丫不是说要跳下去么？”
呵呵。那不是你，那里谁都没有。这时的我很邪恶，很想回到那个时候把你推倒在地，再抓起一堆雪塞进你的脖子让你清醒过来！然后扬长而去。
可是当时我把你丫抱那么紧，却一点感情都没有动。纯粹是人的本能，一种对生命的保护，就像有时候把垂死的苍蝇用蝇拍轻轻捧起，扔向窗外。我把你最终成功塞进出租车里。
已是半夜了，人就像冰一样。在你被我塞进车的那一刻，我想对这些可爱可憎可怜的人说：“还我体温！”
我回去了，去一个能找到爱尔兰啤酒Guinness的地方----印象中总能把温暖的灯光，光头设计师，黑啤酒和活蹦乱跳，戴着钢牙的小姑娘联系起来。这倒不错。虽然幼稚了点，倒也不失为早期比较纯粹的一种状态。
(三)
又是一个夜晚，在地中海旁的度假村里，我独自踱步在小桥上，像所有童话故事的作者一样，狂妄地幻想把所有纯粹的爱都砸到一个浪漫的二人世界，然后生活就臻于圆满，世界就永远美丽。
每每与前辈们交流起成功的人生到底应该达到什么样的境界，都感到不管是之前还是现在，我太年轻，太天真，太浮躁。有一点是确定的，我依然要在精神世界不断追求纯粹，我要用生命写一本美丽的童话，谁都超越不了这种纯粹，给你。
2007年4月13日星期五
献给平凡的产业和不凡的职业(二: 世界观问题)
《金刚经》写于两千多年前，因为那时的物理和化学远没有今天这样发达，更多是观心，其实反观和观天是一回事，现在物理都发展到这个地步了，我就拿物理这个利器追本溯源，这是把非常锃亮的刀子。有的作家还从传统中找灵感，太他妈贫乏了，从传统中找就是传统的奴隶，你能不能从科学里找? 一些科普著作非常好，连历史和人的本质都用清晰的语言描述得非常清楚了。
-----王朔
友情感谢人民盖把世界观问题从理性主义中独立出来。
很多人比我想象的还要酷很多，他们振振有词，只要愿意，世界首富马上就能当, 并给出一系列可行的商业模式。没钱时，随便几个朋友的资助钱就能一下把他埋了。当然那是文艺青年，不是工程师，不是企业家，更不是政客。
我于2005年和几个黑道上的小朋友租用过某大网站的语音视频聊天室，作为对"中国IT产业新泡沫的多元化"这一观点进行的小试验。开始果然十分好玩，收入火爆，成员遍及全国。后来由于Marketing没跟上，一个月内，人气大减，游戏结束。大赦天下，各携小款，不了了之。东亚的学英语狂潮，加上IT产业不断泛起的小泡沫，原来只是一种理论上的分析，就像文艺青年嘴里叫嚣的一样。那些形形色色资本原始积累的引子，只能用来给别人励志，不能用来说服自己。即使在微小的成功面前，也不应总结什么太多的理论用来自欺欺人。要谦虚掌握的是具体方法，法国人说成是"Gestion de Projet"，不是"Gestion de Succes"。
用现成的东西(经验，资本)总是一开始容易些，后来曲折些。革命总是要经历一个反复过程，不管它纯粹与否。常常出现这样的尴尬:当某IT企业家把工程师，精算师等等相关的人聚拢时，机遇却消失了。在一种反复的过程中，现有资本和经验带来的作用，总是利弊抵消的。别人的经验这些东西不是学了没用，而是用了不如不用。不能太累，不断燃烧的激情才重要，永恒于心的温存才重要，怕什么？缺什么？人生需尽欢，尽享天伦之乐。反正如果你的血液总是鲜活的，理性主义让你"广义上的利益"最大化，你总是会被钱埋，被温暖的人情埋。
献给平凡的产业和不凡的职业(一: 道德篇)
岩曰 : 起菩提愿，善根永存 。
经曰 : 行深般若波罗蜜多时。
赞曰 : 要学能遣一切所缘闻思慧等。好乐寂静爱慕出离。若性总慧凡学易成。
修集善根。志求胜法。心常柔和。遭苦能忍。慈悲淳厚。深心平等。
This beginning of the piggy year seems very difficult for many of my friends and relatives. From the funding problems in the US to the career problems in Beijing, from the health problems in Vancouver to the “bye forever” problems in Brest, people are desperately searching for a breath in this polluted world.
Fortunately I am not in the list of those real unlucky dogs. Yet I struggle to make a living by distracting my attention from controlling the world by information technology to coping with some hyper important but tough issues inside my family. The fine part is: I already have a clue of how to make small progress in the domain of spirituality.
Zheng had quitted China Radio International to go to Phoenix in Hong Kong since one year ago, but yesterday he called me to update that he had returned to BTV in Beijing which is better in terms of payment. BTV! That reminds me of something long forgotten, sweet but not vivid. Hey finally! I have gotten no need for the memory. It’s a peaceful world without CCTV, without the lake in Tsinghua, without candies.
Another Zheng, still lingering in Hong Kong, has recognized his miserable identity of “nobody”. IT engineering entrepreneur? Better go along with flowing money. As Tang said, he who has big money is your uncle.
Someone in France Telecom is recently said to be a whore but is always my friend. There are real whores everywhere though, who cares! As Sophia cried to me to beg for my love, I got no sympathy to console her. Her name was just too deadly, deadly similar to the name of a deadly whore.
Airbus confirmed on Wednesday that it plans to spin off several manufacturing sites and shed about 10,000 jobs as part of a long-awaited restructuring plan, union officials said, as workers staged stoppages in protest at the cuts. So what the hell are former Mr. SUPELECois thinking about? “Bonjour! Your tie today is so beautiful, my dear classmate.” Proud to be staying? Or sorry to be hated? No idea. We should admit that French engineers are not lazy. In China, they French-kiss the pretty girls who erotically long for “bisous” and “bonjours”, anywhere, anytime. My friend Sheila is one of the victims.
My teacher of Information System asked in class this morning:
“Ca va? Les chinois? Vous comprenez le français ?”
Every black eye stared at him with hesitating hatred, as his two big blue eyes seemed so gentle with care, ready to explain patiently to the Asian idiots.
I don’t need to have my hair cut like it should be. Finally the innovative ideas are stimulated by the lack of environmental complexity. Bruce Lee took advantage of the “void”; I can also consider it more than a type of function in computer programming. Everything is still natural. Take care when your heart has gone with the industrial wind. Be a good man,seriously.
